078 - Amnesia
circa. 1990
And I still came back to her,[a]
Again and again and again and again
Even though the fear is still present
Again and again and again and again
The flaws start to humble me,
The interruption is interrupted
If It's not enough, it will kill me[b]
The interruption is interrupted
And she came back to me, as always
And always and always and always and always
And she brings the fear, as always
And always and always and always and always
The failure begins to torture me
A distracted distraction distracts it
It must be more, it whispers to me
A distracted distraction distracts it
She is the return, forever and ever
Forever and ever and ever, forever
She is the fear[c], forever and ever
Forever and ever and ever, forever
I'm just a mistake, I'm my prison
Look away, look away, look away, look away
I'm just a mistake, I hear the echo
Look away, look away, look away, look away
She's going backward, never
Never, never, never, never
She's torture, never
Never, never, never, never
AMNEISA[d] of myself
Amnesia for her
Amnesia of my fails
Amnesia.
Again and again and again and again
Even though the fear is still present
Again and again and again and again
The flaws start to humble me,
The interruption is interrupted
If It's not enough, it will kill me[b]
The interruption is interrupted
And she came back to me, as always
And always and always and always and always
And she brings the fear, as always
And always and always and always and always
The failure begins to torture me
A distracted distraction distracts it
It must be more, it whispers to me
A distracted distraction distracts it
She is the return, forever and ever
Forever and ever and ever, forever
She is the fear[c], forever and ever
Forever and ever and ever, forever
I'm just a mistake, I'm my prison
Look away, look away, look away, look away
I'm just a mistake, I hear the echo
Look away, look away, look away, look away
She's going backward, never
Never, never, never, never
She's torture, never
Never, never, never, never
AMNEISA[d] of myself
Amnesia for her
Amnesia of my fails
Amnesia.
Editor notes:
[a]: Trismegistus keeps referring to this feminine figure while remaining ambiguous.
[b]: Most probably referring to the pact he wrote in his very first poem, which permeates all of his poems.
[c]: It's widely known that during this period, Trismegistus was making one of his last pilgrimages to the west, so he reflected on his pain of leaving his natal home for the last time.
[d]: The name of the poem based on the dream with same name
[a]: Trismegistus keeps referring to this feminine figure while remaining ambiguous.
[b]: Most probably referring to the pact he wrote in his very first poem, which permeates all of his poems.
[c]: It's widely known that during this period, Trismegistus was making one of his last pilgrimages to the west, so he reflected on his pain of leaving his natal home for the last time.
[d]: The name of the poem based on the dream with same name